Finding a good Black man seems to be a struggle for some woman. “Black women cannot find a good man.” I have heard this so many times my ears hurt just hearing it. Is it true or is it a self fulfilling prophecy? So many women are in love with the idea of marriage but do not want to take the steps to getting married. Here are four steps for Black women to get married in a year or less. I wrote these 4 steps to finding a good Black man in hopes that someone reads it and finds love.
1. Take initiative
Do not wait for your prince to come rescue you. That is outdated. If you are looking for a good man then go out and look. Just like everything else, if you are seeking something you would be on the hunt for it. When you dryer breaks, you hit yard sales, Craigslist and your appliance store looking for a new one. You should do the same when looking for a man. Check out your local churches, visit more happy hours or join a gym in order to meet more people. Update your dating site profile. Taking initiative is also about looking your best. Stop running to the bank in rollers or grabbing groceries in slippers. Be presentable wherever you are because you never know who you might meet.
2. Know who you are
Look in the mirror. That is who you are. Do not believe that you are something that you are not. Learn to love yourself. No matter what we look like or what size or shape we are we all have something to love. If you are not the prettiest face in the neighborhood rely on finding men with your other attributes. Perhaps you can have a great conversation or your cooking is good enough to win competitions. Maybe you are funny, you love watching football or something else, whatever it is, use this to your advantage.
3. Take Care of Your Past Issues
Is a bad upbringing causing you do not trust men. Deal with it. If a bad relationship between you and your father is causing you to think that all men will be like him than you need to face that problem. Issues from the past can ruin a great future with the next person. If you have no children with an ex, than you should not talking to that ex. Past boyfriends will only complicate your current situation when you get a random text from them. Stop following you ex boyfriends on social media networks as well.
4. Better Yourself
It does not take a lot of money or effort to better yourself as a woman. If you usually spend nights watching television, try reading a book. Turn off the radio on your way to work and listen to a podcast that is meaningful. Bettering yourself is not about trying to get a master’s degree just to get a man. Bettering yourself can be as simple as checking out a local class at the community college. Start a business or perfect a hobby or craft you have been interested in. Not only does bettering yourself make you feel better it also will give you more to talk about on dates with men you meet.
Finding a good Black man is not easy, just like finding any good man is not easy. But with persistence, it can be accomplished. Close your ears to the naysayers and follow these four steps and see what results you get.